One week after returning from our adventure in Italy, Joe and I packed our bags again…this time for a two-month trip to Hawaii. HAWAII!! I always wanted to see Hawaii. I’ve heard the islands are a place for slow sensuous living and sunset strolls on the beach, but regardless of my romantic fantasies, this trip had a different focus.
Joe and I were invited to the Big Island to help prepare Villa Ahmyo, a beautiful property that will be the setting for small transformational events hosted by the Crimson Circle. The Villa, while lovely, needed some lovin’ to make it shine, and we have been scrubbing, painting, and shopping…doing plumbing, electrical work, and construction…overseeing contractors, and orchestrating creative solutions to a few daunting dilemmas…but more than anything, we have been breathing life into a place that is longing to expand. Expand it has! The energies of the Villa are shifting around us, and we know something truly magical is being born here.
Joe is a master of many trades, and this project has been great fun for him. Each day he greets the morning with a gleeful grin and, after a strong cup of coffee, rushes out to put on his manly construction apron and play. I, on the other hand, usually roll out of bed limping and groaning, wondering what scary power tool or ladder I will have to conquer today (but secretly quite proud of my expanding abilities - just don’t tell anyone I said so). We’ve been putting in long hours and I have the new muscles and bruises to prove it!
But lest you think I am seeking pity, let me tell you that I am writing this right now as I look at this:
It is a terrible price I must pay (wink). Many of our evenings are spent savoring a well-earned glass of something cold as we lounge in the hot tub and watch the the sun turn the ocean ablaze, all to a chorus of singing coqui frogs. I’ve even seen some shooting stars.
Villa Ahmyo is a magical setting, no doubt, and one chosen for a specific purpose. The word “Ahmyo” means to live in grace and freedom. Starting in February, people will begin coming here from all over the world to expand their ability to live as free beings. The Villa is being designed to hold that energy and give visitors a taste of what is possible.
Joe and I know that as we prepare the physical space, we are being asked to help set those energies through the way we offer our service. It is quite a privilege, and a great responsibility, because to create a space that radiates freedom one must first be free. Consequently, we have been asked to move beyond any limiting beliefs and know ourselves as sovereign beings.
This has kept us on our toes, let me tell you, and we’ve been having new realizations every day. Here are a few examples:
- We’ve learned to listen to our intuition regarding what to do when and where to go for what. When we listen, things flow beautifully.
- We’ve learned to pay attention to that flow, and if things become congested, stop! Pushing through is no longer an option as it only magnifies the challenges. Solutions come when we open our perspective. Once we do, a path emerges and the energies starts rearranging. Eventually a new reality comes right to us! This process can sometimes feel emotional and chaotic, but the results are always amazing.
- We’ve learned to witness ourselves and each other in a new way. Joe and I can be working together smoothly when suddenly something old will rise up in one of us for release. In those moments, drama is but a breath away. We are getting really good at becoming aware of these issues as they bloom and sharing honestly without pointing fingers at each other.
- We’ve learned that when we let go of our B.S. (Beliefs and Stories), the Villa itself realigns, and that the changing energies are seeding potentials for those who will come here in the future. We have felt the space begin to sparkle and shine. Even the animals have started relating to us differently.
Here is a cute story that demonstrates the latter. The Villa is frequented by geckos, which many consider to be a good luck sign. Geckos are gorgeous creatures, and I really wanted a picture of one, but they are also quite skittish and quick. One morning, I put out a request that one pose for me at his convenience. I then went on to start my work day and began sanding the pool fence with the power sander. I was engrossed in my task when a gecko fearlessly scampered toward me along the vibrating rail. He came right up to me, impervious to the loud noise I was making, and stopped inches from me to pose for a picture. I dropped the sander, lunged for my phone, and he patiently waited while I snapped a few pictures. Then, quicker than I could say “thank you,” he was gone. It was an incredibly sweet moment.
I am seeing every day how I create my reality from my point of perception and that I need nothing from outside myself to do this…not money; not health; not help, nor approval, nor even the love of others. It was a leap of faith to believe this level of freedom could be possible. It’s been an even bigger leap to actually live it.
I confess, my mind has been very disoriented. At first it balked, then it became angry, and now it periodically shuts down. In those moments I find myself stumbling for words, unable to process information the way I used to. Fatigue will wave over me and I will feel completely overstimulated with little to no warning.
Ironically, when my mind started letting go, I became aware of some truly uncomfortable patterns that have run me for a very long time. I could see how safety, not integrity, was my primary motivator, creating a tendency for me to distort the truth, pussy foot around issues, and omit important information in my communication with others because I was afraid, deeply afraid, that my safety would be threatened if I was totally honest.
As you might guess, I’ve created lots of great opportunities with Joe to worth through these issues and learn to communicate in a new way. Ironically, these painful reveals started coming in waves right around Thanksgiving. Pretty ironic, don’t you think? What followed was a deep sense of surrender and isolation (all while being on an island surrounded by thousands of miles of water). My body started releasing again. And out of all this, a most wondrous thing occurred. I noticed my chakra system was evolving. I now no longer sense discreet energy centers when I feel into my energy body. They seem to have all blended into one. This is no small shift taking place!
Through it all, three pearls of wisdom have emerged. I’d like to share them with you.
Pearl #1 - Death Is Necessary for Rebirth
As I approached her home, I saw the many lava flows that built this island, raising it more than 30 thousand feet from the ocean floor. These flows destroyed forests and homes, yet each time the lava flowed, the island expanded.
Pele taught me that Death, the very force that seems to obliterate Life, actually regenerates it, for Death frees energies trapped in form allowing them to evolve. Life then becomes a series of experiences and is constantly being renewed.
My own journey has taught me that new creations are only possible when I fully release the old patterns. Then the energy shifts form, but the wisdom from my experience is eternal. I’ve grown each time I shed an old way of being.
Pearl #2 - Beliefs Are Limitations
So I propose here a drastic concept: What if beliefs are temporary things? All beliefs. Any beliefs. What if, instead of thinking of beliefs as “truths,” we could perceive them as picture frames that create a certain perspective? Then we could use those frames to focus our perception and create discreet experiences. If we want a new experience, we need only to shift our perspective (move the frame) so we see something new. Wouldn’t that be liberating (and, yes, perhaps a wee bit disorienting)?
Once you open Pandora’s Box of Beliefs, everything starts to shift around you. What was solid and unchangeable suddenly changes. Energy starts rearranging itself in response to your new perspective. This can seem overwhelming, but it can also open up some delightful synchronicities that gift you in unexpected ways. Here is a little story of one way this played out for me.
I wanted to bring a guitar to Hawaii. Singing is a great comfort to me. It calms me and puts me in a state of joy. I knew this journey would be a transformational one, and sensed music would be a loving gift to myself. Interestingly enough, none of my guitars wanted to come along, so I didn’t bring one. However, upon arriving on the island, my desire to make music grew even stronger, so I started shopping for an instrument.
My mind was a bit baffled by this. Had I not just spent several thousand dollars on a new guitar? Why did I need another when I had three (count ‘me, THREE) at home. It would be a total waste of money, my mind decreed, AND then I would have to figure out how to get a guitar home, and surely THAT would be a risky and expensive undertaking. Blah Blah Blah. I didn’t need a new guitar. Why did I think I deserved one? Oh. My. God. The old programs were firing away.
Thankfully, I didn’t listen to my mind. I surfed the internet and found a shop that felt right (not 10 minutes from where I was located). I scrolled through the store’s website and found a used guitar that leapt off the page. I went to see the guitar. It was beautiful. When I played it, it sang in my hands. I mean that literally! It made a sound that rang through my whole body. It felt alive when I held it and uniquely responsive to me. I bought it on the spot, paying WAY more than my mind was comfortable paying, yet I didn’t even blink twice. I giggled.
Now, every time I pick up this amazing instrument, I smile. I can feel it reaching out to me, learning my rhythm, blending with my voice. I have a new desire to write music, something I haven’t done in years. I think I just may be selling all my other guitars!
Which leads me to the third pearl of wisdom…
Pearl #3 - Creativity Requires Clarity
Ironically, I am here in Hawaii preparing a beautiful space, a home designed to inspire freedom, but what kind of a home do I want to create for myself? What would Donna like to be having?! If I want to have it, I really need to figure that out!
The primal answer? Safe space, and I know in a visceral way that I am now creating it on the outside because I am finally dissolving my old programming and giving it to myself on the inside…and THAT, my friends, is the gift I’ve received from this whole grand experience: Freedom. As I have buffed and polished and refreshed Villa Ahmyo, I have actually been allowing my own quantum renewal. There is a poetic beauty in that.