The tree and the parasites
What happened next:
Merciless Mercy - everything was rising
Not just this lifetime, but all
No new information but deeper levels of understanding
Layer 26 of the onion
Working from the outside in
What doesn't give you permission?
* Soul agreements with ancestral and karmic families
* Co-dependent attachments (where is my need, where do I not feel whole?) You are killing what we loved about you
* demonic/archonic thought programs, AI, mind control, wetiko
* Seeing, separating from, and allowing other people's aspects
* Seeing my own aspects and choosing (return to source, return to love/crystal fire)
* What is out of balance out of resonance rises to be brought into resonance
* sensing - seeing deeper truths, revealing what had been hidden on purpose
* releasing the pain bodies and my roles and identities within the story
* cellular memory
* beliefs (worthiness to be loved as I am)
* stuck emotional energy (fear, anger, grief, shame, guilt, regret)
* Fear vs. love Example from real life: end agreement, be fought, terror in body, memories, loss of breath, love
Instruction from Bartholomew: You are being abused, take command, you have the authority, love vibration, hold it and watch what happens. Facing each story and Walking through fire: fear, anger, grief, shame, guilt, regret
Becoming the deep water that transmuted and soothed.
* patterns that limit life force flow (perfectionism, reliance on external authority, the book of rules) What am I most afraid of? Abandonment. What would I sacrifice to feel connected? Authenticity. What is true connection? Eternal. Unconditional. Unlimited.
* The power of "I do not consent" with what is not true
* Seeing and releasing the addiction to suffering.
* knowing when to surrender, when to commit, when to act, when to wait, when to use the sword of truth, when to release with compassion
* Life is a mirror. What we hold in frequency we create without, but the irony is we have to address the outside before we can see what we are holding within
Darkness vs evil (evil vs life and the consciousness of love)
Gets very chaotic when you get serious
The closer you get to "home within" the more chaotic it becomes
The old fights for its existence
Only by the dark walk do you reach the light that is eternal
Realizing I had two theatrical story lines playing out on the same stage simultaneously.
One was at war with the other.
Each was creating a different audience and energy in the theatre.
Morality vs Freedom
One was an old and very large script with tight rules and control of energy
One was free
For me - end of a book vs chapter breaks
Morality had to exit stage right, turn in her costume and leave the theatre
The whole theatre then rearranged
Acceptance of old creations and releasing them
forgiveness for misdirected creations
Let the child go (story) - the creation that would eat me alive
Releasing our old creations to free the energy
Morality - the ultimate controller who did not give me permission
What I created, I can uncreate
Who am I without this? Existential terror
Simple but not easy - The bets of the masters :)
Many nights on the knife edge - summary of 7+ months dark night of the soul
Betting on myself
No help from without
Assistance began to arrive from within
Trusting my inner knowing above all else - a slow evolution
Discovering what is unlimited within me (Story of the lions and star family?)
The divine feminine: Lady of Song, the Mahavidyas, facets of the diamond
The divine masculine: The Shining One, the Lion, facets of the diamond
The bridge (being thrown)
The lady (the traumatized puppy)
Cutting away (shock)
What you think you want is shocking to a conditioned and traumatized body
Small degrees of elevation as you develop capacity
Growing in frequency by transmutation
Needing a guide through the multidimensional realms
The shaman's journey: visions (meeting my shaman during drumming, role as dreamwalker, death walker, teacher and guide)
Reclaiming unlimited potentials
building a relationship with my gifts
Dreaming the new dream into reality
The mirror - everything directs you back in to yourself and to your light/shadow
Gratitude - Honoring the passage, and the people and the experiences
Fearless exploration of the unknown
Coming out of the tunnel and to the front of the boat
The evolutionary process described: The medicine wheel: what must be shed (skin that is outgrown), what must die (ego/identity death), what wisdom/joy is reborn, new purpose and action/gifts
The great wound reveals the great gift, the most significant treasures are buried in the dark
It is the journey into deep self love that transforms this
Sight - covered by conditioning not to see the truth
Magic - covered by the dark sorcerer within/without
Creation - covered by enslavement to old agreements
The purpose of initiation - BRINGING LOVE TO WHAT HURTS
If what hurts is you, allow yourself your freedom from the pain
CONDENSE AS THE RELEASE THE CHILD STORY
Purpose - free oneself from old creations, understanding what is real and what is temporary, forgive oneself for lesser creations and misdirected energy, release the judgment controlling your creative potentials, be brave enough to try again
Segue - walking in mystery (story?)
Three cards today: Standstill and Higher World and Stranger. That says it all. Receive help.
After a nap, what came in was: a burst of healing energy (carefully monitored to see if I would accept it - my body started buzzing), new codes instructing the body, then my new body! Each created releases. Aspects in fear or warlike stances, but they are leaving. In between releases, I notice I feel better. Curiosity! Embracing the “stranger” (wink).
At dusk, another round, or should I say rounds. Beings after beings and it just got worse no matter how masterly I showed up. I told Joe that I know if I could embody my mastery this would end. He asked what is stopping me. I told him I did not know. I’ve done everything I know to do…except fully surrender, I thought. I’m still protecting something and I don’t know what it is.
So I surrendered. I remembered the cards (stand still and allow a higher power to enter) and I surrendered to my mastery. Whatever needs to happen, I allow it.
I felt this quiet big part of me appear. (The same calm voice of reason that told me health insurance was not today’s problem and sliced through my panic all those years ago.) I also saw another woman (me? I don’t know who she is) standing before me. She had one hand on my throat and one hand on my uterus. My divine self asked me if I trusted her. I said yes. She said I needed to let something go, and it would be shocking, but it would end my coughing/my suffering. I agreed.
She then told me to let the child go. I felt it leave through my throat and the woman let go of me and clutched the child. She left.
Then my divine self reached into my heart to remove something. It hurt. After my chest ached for several hours. She told me that I am not to ask questions. When I need to know I will know. I am to set it down and walk on. When whatever happens happens, it will be shocking, but it will not hurt me. I am not to ask questions. I am to allow things to unfold naturally. When I am to know more, I will know. This is all I know for now. No analysis paralysis. The coughing stopped.
Later, when I was speaking to my Divine Self before falling asleep, I sensed the Woman come back. She put more spells in my throat. She was very angry. My Divine Self removed them and sealed her away from me. I slept.
AUGUST 21, 2022
I awoke later coughing hard, and my Divine Self said…
Everything is not as it seems, but what is real is real. I believed an illusion.
This made the coughing come even harder.
My Divine Self removed something from my solar plexus, and told me I will see through the illusion now.
I hear someone screaming inside me trying to break through a wall.
She approaches us and asks who imprisoned her.
My divine self points then tells me I am to follow and find out.
I see my mother. That is shocking!
The imprisoned part asks my mother why she imprisoned me.
My mother answers, so I could keep you. She is crying.
I interject, but a free bird is not kept.
This does not feel like love to me.
I ask my Divine Self, who wanted me to return the child. Was that my mother? Was it me? She said both.
She said the woman was an old wounded part of me and I have been playing this story out with others for lifetimes…different roles, switching parts, over and over.
Give what is precious away now, she tells me. Stop protecting. Stop pretending.
The old game was a vicious cycle. End it through surrender. Release the illusion of possession, of suppression. Stop trying to be perfect. That is a prison. Stop trying to be what others want you to be. Be what you are.
I tell her I surrender the bondage, what held me captive and what I held captive.
i am willing to let it all go
I am told I will never be the same, but I will be free.
I ask for forgiveness. I surrender. I let go.
I hear a hammer ringing on metal.
My divinity tells me…The illusion falls. What is real remains. Remember this.
She pulls out a bird cage.
She tells me to set the birds free. I watch as they fly away.
Do not cling, she says. She throws the cage away.
She touches my heart.
You cannot cage your gifts.
You cannot cage love.
Set your gifts free. (I do so)
All of them.
Your gifts are like children you send out into the world.
You cannot keep them. You cannot protect them.
You cannot hold onto them. That is not love. That is not life.
They must fly free.
As you were held, so you have held.
As you were loved, so you have loved.
She asks me, What word would you use to describe your mother? I tell her, suppression.
Do not suppress what is alive within you, trying to protect it, trying to perfect it, trying to keep it for yourself.
Set it free. Let it live.
I am taken to a cage. I am given a key.
I unlock the door and give the key to my divinity saying i never want to lock part of me away again.
I ask who I locked up - I hear the truth of me.
The one I had imprisoned reaches over and rips something off my throat, then enters there.
She kicks something away from inside that was blocking my eyes, then enters there.
She breaks open my heart, then enters there.
The viscous coughing stops.
No more illusions she says to me.
I set you free I say. She thanks me.
My Divine self then tells me to let my mother go.
A huge chain is removed from my solar plexus.
You do not have to be her I am told. Be yourself.
I am crying.
Now also set your son free. Be yourself. Let him be who he is.
Another chain is removed between us.
(I love you, but your fear is not my fear.
I love you, but your anger is not my anger.
I love you, but your grief is not my grief.
I love you, enough to let you be you.
And I love myself enough to let myself fly.)
Your gifts need to be released now.
Do not fear for them. Let them have expression.
Do not fear for yourself. You do not need to protect yourself.
Love does not ask that of you.
Love does not ask you to be small.
Let your gifts fly free, with no strings, with no attachment to outcome or need for reciprocity, without expecting the gifts to come back to you. Set them free to do what they will, to be what they will be. The joy is in the giveaway.
The monsters will leave when you no longer are asking them to keep you small so you fit into relationship.
Be what you are. True relationships will follow.
I say I do not know what I am.
She says what I am will show me.
(I just need to be willing to meet the stranger and be open and teachable.)
She gives me another key.
I open the door to a vista overlooking a vast world, a broad and open sky.
Then she pushes me out the door. I fall off of the cliff.
I hear Kuthumi’s words…fly like rock, or fly like bird. My choice.
And I fly.
After sleeping peacefully, I awoke congested and coughing. My Divine Self met me and told me to open each chakra and “set them free.” I did this, and watched all the dark ones leave me. (Interestingly, right before I fell asleep I felt the tickle in my chest and told the aspect that I set her free, and she looked at me in surprise and then left. So I sensed what was coming.)
At the end, she told me to pull forward the one in control. I did. I set him free too. (As the masses were leaving, many of the bosses looked to my Divine Self for confirmation, as did this one who was in charge of all. She confirmed I meant it.) He pulled forward a contract and told me I had to burn it. I did so. I thanked him for his service to me, and he left. It was clear now that all the monsters were in service to me all along. I bemoaned that I tried to kill them, and my Divine Self said it was a role they agreed to play because I had to learn to stand strong and face my fears. I had to learn to not fear death and destruction because it is part of creation. They just came back and served me again, as they will now in a new role.
Then she told me to be ready, and I could feel a fire begin to expand through me, from within going in all directions. It was burning through all the congestion, all the blocks, any debris or structures.
I saw the eye of the dragon before me. It is dangerous to look into the eye of the dragon…unless it is your own and it is time. Dragons see with extraordinary clarity. They see the real you, which kills the false self.
I felt the dragon’s heart placed into every chakra. No playing small now. It took quite some time to acclimate to the energy and stop gasping. I was very tired after.
I saw my Lion and Lioness before me. They touched their foreheads to mine. They told me it was time to learn who I really was. I will always belong with and have the heart connection with the Lions, but I am more. My heart hurt, and I heard “the illusion may fall, but what is real remains.” No matter the form, love is real and it endures.
I became the crystal dragon with the golden eyes. I flew to the sun and into it. I became the plasma. I felt the plasma unite with me again. Then I left as the dragon to return to my body, but the sun was inside me. I felt my Divine Self merge her consciousness with me upon my return. We will share the new body.
When most people think of a unicorn they image a winged horse with a single horn growing from it’s head. A unicorn´s horn is in the forehead, in the same place where the third eye is. Therefore, unicorns are seen as symbols of higher consciousness and intuition. Unicorn meanings include the ability to negate the effects of venom and poisons, the magick to make dreams become reality and a connection to the spirits of the forest with its fauns and fairies. (see: Whale/Narwhal ) The legend of Zeus and the "horn of plenty" may be the origin of the myth of the Unicorn.
A dragon is a large, serpent-like legendary creature that appears in the folklore of many cultures around the world. Beliefs about dragons vary drastically by region, but dragons in western cultures have often been depicted as winged, horned, four-legged, and capable of breathing fire. Dragons in eastern cultures are usually depicted as wingless, four-legged, serpentine creatures with above-average intelligence.The Dragon represents prosperity which may be of spiritual enlightenment rather than material riches, the guardian of treasures that lay hidden deep within the unconscious
- Fire Dragon -- Vitality, enthusiasm and courage, help in overcoming obstacles
- Air Dragon -- Great flashes of illumination in intellect and psyche, insight and clarity, trust your inner voice
- Earth Dragon -- Power, potential, riches
- Water Dragon -- Redirect your enthusiasm
Past: Whale Song - Resonating
Present: Stars in the Sky - Limitless Possibility
Future: Spirit of the River - Movement Toward Adventure
Daughter of the Sun, Child of the Eternal One. This you are and always will be. Allow the dragon energy now to fill you with the grandness of yourself. You are not small. You cannot continue to play small. You must expand to hold yourself and in this you will find your joy.
Today is a day of integration. You are tired, for your true light is bright and you must rise up in frequency to hold it.
The demons have revealed themselves, have they not? Your friends all along, in the harshest of disguises. Your loved ones also. Let it be so. Do not analyze this today and go into the mind. You know what you need to know already.
The dragon came as the demons were released. Your energy has been freed. The health concerns are not real, only markers of stuck energy designed to push you out of your small little box.
Life awaits. The Lady of Song says you need no more gifts from her because you are the gift. Let that sink in.
We love you. We celebrate for you. Be at peace as the energy rearranges.
Everything is not as it seems, but what is real is real.
the illusion may fall, but what is real remains.
Portal Perspective - Fear is the absence of love. Love without opposite is the ultimate truth and everything rises to be witnessed by this love.
Key to success - Love transmutes fear and all illusion of separation because everything seeks to be loved unconditionally.
Key to success - Love transmutes fear and all illusion of separation because everything seeks to be loved unconditionally.