The Man in the Chimney
Story
At a tender age, I start having a recurring nightmare that would visit me for the next five decades.
The dream was always the same...something dark was living in the chimney in my parents’ basement. The chimney was round with big silver bands on it, and it held court in the center of the basement, right next to the furnace. If you stood at the top of the stairs, you had a spectacular view of it.
At the start of each dream I would be doing something fun when suddenly, a loud alarm would go off signalling that the chimney was breaking open. In the first of these dreams that I can remember, I hid inside my parents’ bed under the blankets. (This was a clever strategy, I admit, based on a super successful April Fool’s Day prank I pulled. For years, I believed my parents had no idea I was hiding under the covers.) Later, I became more saavy, and escaped out of the windows.
During mid-life versions of the dream, I negotiated with family members and gathered belongings. One time I fled with my son and collie. We were rolling down the street at a snail’s pace in a child’s wagon. A dark man emerged from the basement and stalked us. He walked alongside the wagon and stared at me. His eyes were deep and hypnotic. They never left mine. They never blinked. I felt him look into the center of my being, and I knew then I could never escape those eyes.
My health began to deteriorate. I knew there was a connection to the dreams. I could no longer run away, so my dream decided to face the Man in the Chimney.
The first time I stood my ground, a wave of dark energy roared up the stairs, freezing me to the spot in terror. I was completely overwhelmed. Dream by dream I grew my capacity until eventually I stood before the fire. In that moment I felt like a river of lava was flowing right toward me and the only way to heal myself was to lay right down in it and let it burn through me.
I knew I needed to open the chimney so the energy there could move. I asked my intuitive son, 14 years old at the time, for help. He designed a meditation to open the chimney. I prepared myself and then went in to face my monster. Inside the chimney I found a young girl, innocent, yet wise...an intuitive aspect of myself. I felt such relief at freeing her. Curiously, she was the only entity I saw in the meditation.
Afterwards, I laid down to take a nap. On the edge of sleep, I slid into a trance state and felt a great energy release in my body. At first I saw the young girl’s eyes flash before me, and then a great force erupted in my lower belly. I tried to hold it back, but I couldn’t. It felt sexual and angry. Seductive. It roared through me with a blood lust, wanting to overpower, control, and destroy. I became lost in it. Two small children appeared before me in the vision and this demon inside me rose up in glee at the thought of such innocence. I wanted the children to run, but the demon was ready to chase. I awoke suddenly, trembling and sweating, thinking, "I just set the Man in the Chimney free.” But what was it? Was it a part of me? Had I done those things in another lifetime? Or, as in my vision, had I been overcome in some old power game? I did not have clarity yet. I did know, the story was not done.
The darkness I discoverd in that meditatioon has haunted me throughout my life. There has never been a joyful moment when I didn’t also feel its shadow. Early on, it would rise up when I saw small children, or watched certain movies, and I would fiercely shove it back down. It horrified me. I could never understand why these feelings arose because they were the antithesis of my personality and never part of this lifetime’s experience. In my 20’s I even sought out therapy, but that was unhelpful.
I’d brought this pattern up to heal it. I saw how I attracted people that resonated with this story. I recognized how I’d absorbed the patterns into my own body, taking them on in the hopes of making it right as either a martyr or a healer. I’d identified with this story, made it my own, and because of this I no longer trusted myself. I refused to embrace my creativity or my sexuality for fear of abusing it. I lived with guilt that was unfounded in fact. I tried to be perfect. I followed the rules. I was very hard on myself. I absorbed other people’s pain, disempowering myself until I was weak and desperate for energy. The more I tried to suppress the story, the more it came out sideways, sabotaging my creations.
I had manifested my own perfect storm. Nothing made sense any more. I knew if I didn’t break myself out of the prison I’d created, I would not survive; so I did the unthinkable thing. I blew up my life, the life I had so carefully crafted, the one I’d been living to earn my way back into heaven and achieve forgiveness for whatever terrible awful unforgivable thing I had committed in some other lifetime.
I started to make changes to liberate myself from the patterns that I had outgrown.
On my 50th birthday, I left my 30-year marriage. I left my home and most of my possessions. I left the loved-ones I had known my entire life. I left it all and I moved to Colorado...without a
Van Keuren / THE PORTAL TO FREEDOM / 168
plan. My ears were ringing from all the people who were thinking, “What the HELL is she doing!”
Leaving was not an easy thing for me to do. I was deeply entangled in the pattern I had woven. My entire identity was derived from it, and I was attached to the relationships I had created within it. I also felt dependent upon my marriage for my survival. My human aspect was very scared had no words to give that could explain my need to leave. My soul knew differently.
Once a few key threads of the tapestry untangled, everything began to unravel. My old persona fell away, so much so that one friend told me I was killing what people loved about me. I understood this was true, but knew that what others loved about me was no longer self-loving.
The energy in my chimney dreams represented a great multi-dimensional story, a soul family story. To let this story go changed all my relationships. It changed what I thought was important. It rewrote my entire story, not only within this current lifetime, but all my other lifetimes, past and future. By bringing this story up for release, my soul was calling me back to myself, and as I aligned with this yearning, everything shifted to support my rebirth.\
For about five years, I adapted. It took me that long to accept what I had done and grow comfortable in my new persona. It took me that long to grieve.
At a tender age, I start having a recurring nightmare that would visit me for the next five decades.
The dream was always the same...something dark was living in the chimney in my parents’ basement. The chimney was round with big silver bands on it, and it held court in the center of the basement, right next to the furnace. If you stood at the top of the stairs, you had a spectacular view of it.
At the start of each dream I would be doing something fun when suddenly, a loud alarm would go off signalling that the chimney was breaking open. In the first of these dreams that I can remember, I hid inside my parents’ bed under the blankets. (This was a clever strategy, I admit, based on a super successful April Fool’s Day prank I pulled. For years, I believed my parents had no idea I was hiding under the covers.) Later, I became more saavy, and escaped out of the windows.
During mid-life versions of the dream, I negotiated with family members and gathered belongings. One time I fled with my son and collie. We were rolling down the street at a snail’s pace in a child’s wagon. A dark man emerged from the basement and stalked us. He walked alongside the wagon and stared at me. His eyes were deep and hypnotic. They never left mine. They never blinked. I felt him look into the center of my being, and I knew then I could never escape those eyes.
My health began to deteriorate. I knew there was a connection to the dreams. I could no longer run away, so my dream decided to face the Man in the Chimney.
The first time I stood my ground, a wave of dark energy roared up the stairs, freezing me to the spot in terror. I was completely overwhelmed. Dream by dream I grew my capacity until eventually I stood before the fire. In that moment I felt like a river of lava was flowing right toward me and the only way to heal myself was to lay right down in it and let it burn through me.
I knew I needed to open the chimney so the energy there could move. I asked my intuitive son, 14 years old at the time, for help. He designed a meditation to open the chimney. I prepared myself and then went in to face my monster. Inside the chimney I found a young girl, innocent, yet wise...an intuitive aspect of myself. I felt such relief at freeing her. Curiously, she was the only entity I saw in the meditation.
Afterwards, I laid down to take a nap. On the edge of sleep, I slid into a trance state and felt a great energy release in my body. At first I saw the young girl’s eyes flash before me, and then a great force erupted in my lower belly. I tried to hold it back, but I couldn’t. It felt sexual and angry. Seductive. It roared through me with a blood lust, wanting to overpower, control, and destroy. I became lost in it. Two small children appeared before me in the vision and this demon inside me rose up in glee at the thought of such innocence. I wanted the children to run, but the demon was ready to chase. I awoke suddenly, trembling and sweating, thinking, "I just set the Man in the Chimney free.” But what was it? Was it a part of me? Had I done those things in another lifetime? Or, as in my vision, had I been overcome in some old power game? I did not have clarity yet. I did know, the story was not done.
The darkness I discoverd in that meditatioon has haunted me throughout my life. There has never been a joyful moment when I didn’t also feel its shadow. Early on, it would rise up when I saw small children, or watched certain movies, and I would fiercely shove it back down. It horrified me. I could never understand why these feelings arose because they were the antithesis of my personality and never part of this lifetime’s experience. In my 20’s I even sought out therapy, but that was unhelpful.
I’d brought this pattern up to heal it. I saw how I attracted people that resonated with this story. I recognized how I’d absorbed the patterns into my own body, taking them on in the hopes of making it right as either a martyr or a healer. I’d identified with this story, made it my own, and because of this I no longer trusted myself. I refused to embrace my creativity or my sexuality for fear of abusing it. I lived with guilt that was unfounded in fact. I tried to be perfect. I followed the rules. I was very hard on myself. I absorbed other people’s pain, disempowering myself until I was weak and desperate for energy. The more I tried to suppress the story, the more it came out sideways, sabotaging my creations.
I had manifested my own perfect storm. Nothing made sense any more. I knew if I didn’t break myself out of the prison I’d created, I would not survive; so I did the unthinkable thing. I blew up my life, the life I had so carefully crafted, the one I’d been living to earn my way back into heaven and achieve forgiveness for whatever terrible awful unforgivable thing I had committed in some other lifetime.
I started to make changes to liberate myself from the patterns that I had outgrown.
On my 50th birthday, I left my 30-year marriage. I left my home and most of my possessions. I left the loved-ones I had known my entire life. I left it all and I moved to Colorado...without a
Van Keuren / THE PORTAL TO FREEDOM / 168
plan. My ears were ringing from all the people who were thinking, “What the HELL is she doing!”
Leaving was not an easy thing for me to do. I was deeply entangled in the pattern I had woven. My entire identity was derived from it, and I was attached to the relationships I had created within it. I also felt dependent upon my marriage for my survival. My human aspect was very scared had no words to give that could explain my need to leave. My soul knew differently.
Once a few key threads of the tapestry untangled, everything began to unravel. My old persona fell away, so much so that one friend told me I was killing what people loved about me. I understood this was true, but knew that what others loved about me was no longer self-loving.
The energy in my chimney dreams represented a great multi-dimensional story, a soul family story. To let this story go changed all my relationships. It changed what I thought was important. It rewrote my entire story, not only within this current lifetime, but all my other lifetimes, past and future. By bringing this story up for release, my soul was calling me back to myself, and as I aligned with this yearning, everything shifted to support my rebirth.\
For about five years, I adapted. It took me that long to accept what I had done and grow comfortable in my new persona. It took me that long to grieve.
What Happened Next
The next step forward took me back into the fire. It began with yet another dream set in my childhood basement. I noticed blood dripping down the walls and when I went down by the chimney to investigate, a man from my mom’s ancestral line grabbed me, and held me down on the stairs. I called out to my mother for help, but she couldn’t hear me.
I awoke horrified that my Man in the Chimney had surfaced yet again, but realized the dream whas pointing me to an ancestral story. A few weeks after I had this dream, my mother was diagnosed with Leukemia.
I loved my mother beyond all reason. We were deeply bonded, and I ran to her side hoping to save her, but during the long drive back to Wisconsin, I felt a still quiet voice break through my chaotic thoughts. “Are you serious about choosing your personal mastery?” With a foreshadowing of dread, I said that I was. Then I heard, “Your mother is making her choices. If you are serious, she will support you and help you achieve your freedom.” I hoped this meant something different than I thought it meant. I did not want to lose her.
Over the next year, I traveled between hospital to nursing home. I saw the people and places that used to be part of my life. I slept in my childhood bed, and sensed old ancestral energies as they roared through the house. It was just like in my childhood nightmares. The energy from some past trauma was breaking free. I experienced more than one panic attack that left me writhing on the floor.
The time spent with my mom was actually filled with beauty. We shared many heart-opening moments, yet it was painful to watch her fight for her health. The battle was feeding the old ancestral pattern. It was through surrender to a higher outcome that she found her way home to herself. I witnessed her. I held her hand, I sang to her, I brought her small pleasures, and in this quiet space of compassion, we reached a state of peace, allowing what was to be as it was.
I knew, and I think she did too, that this was our last lifetime together. We were both moving on beyond this old story. Her illness was her opportunity to choose her freedom. In the end, she took her final steps alone so we could both let go. After her transition, she showed herself to me in a timeless state, a being of colored light, luminous and free. I walked with her to the Bridge of Flowers and watched her cross, and I realized I was released to create my own path forward, a very different kind of path.
In the months that followed, we cleared the family home. I felt yet again the raging fires of the old ancestral energies as they released from all the possessions and memories stored in that basement. It was like standing in a tornado of fire and watching it burn.
In what was a very humorous twist, we learned that the chimney was made of asbestos. In order to sell the home, it needed to be sealed. After this deed was done, I went downstairs to check things out and laughed. The chimney was now pure white. This was a delightful wink to me, a confirmation, that I had started to let the ancestral story go.
The next step forward took me back into the fire. It began with yet another dream set in my childhood basement. I noticed blood dripping down the walls and when I went down by the chimney to investigate, a man from my mom’s ancestral line grabbed me, and held me down on the stairs. I called out to my mother for help, but she couldn’t hear me.
I awoke horrified that my Man in the Chimney had surfaced yet again, but realized the dream whas pointing me to an ancestral story. A few weeks after I had this dream, my mother was diagnosed with Leukemia.
I loved my mother beyond all reason. We were deeply bonded, and I ran to her side hoping to save her, but during the long drive back to Wisconsin, I felt a still quiet voice break through my chaotic thoughts. “Are you serious about choosing your personal mastery?” With a foreshadowing of dread, I said that I was. Then I heard, “Your mother is making her choices. If you are serious, she will support you and help you achieve your freedom.” I hoped this meant something different than I thought it meant. I did not want to lose her.
Over the next year, I traveled between hospital to nursing home. I saw the people and places that used to be part of my life. I slept in my childhood bed, and sensed old ancestral energies as they roared through the house. It was just like in my childhood nightmares. The energy from some past trauma was breaking free. I experienced more than one panic attack that left me writhing on the floor.
The time spent with my mom was actually filled with beauty. We shared many heart-opening moments, yet it was painful to watch her fight for her health. The battle was feeding the old ancestral pattern. It was through surrender to a higher outcome that she found her way home to herself. I witnessed her. I held her hand, I sang to her, I brought her small pleasures, and in this quiet space of compassion, we reached a state of peace, allowing what was to be as it was.
I knew, and I think she did too, that this was our last lifetime together. We were both moving on beyond this old story. Her illness was her opportunity to choose her freedom. In the end, she took her final steps alone so we could both let go. After her transition, she showed herself to me in a timeless state, a being of colored light, luminous and free. I walked with her to the Bridge of Flowers and watched her cross, and I realized I was released to create my own path forward, a very different kind of path.
In the months that followed, we cleared the family home. I felt yet again the raging fires of the old ancestral energies as they released from all the possessions and memories stored in that basement. It was like standing in a tornado of fire and watching it burn.
In what was a very humorous twist, we learned that the chimney was made of asbestos. In order to sell the home, it needed to be sealed. After this deed was done, I went downstairs to check things out and laughed. The chimney was now pure white. This was a delightful wink to me, a confirmation, that I had started to let the ancestral story go.
Insights
Simultaneous lifetimes
Ancestral patterns and karmic cycles
Summary of wetiko and archons
Facing the shadow to find the light hidden within it
Forgiveness, acceptance of what was.
Discovering entanglements - why are the patterns as they are?
What belief holds them in place
Simultaneous lifetimes
Ancestral patterns and karmic cycles
Summary of wetiko and archons
Facing the shadow to find the light hidden within it
Forgiveness, acceptance of what was.
Discovering entanglements - why are the patterns as they are?
What belief holds them in place
Conclusion
Discerning what is mine and what I am carrying forward
Choice
Release
Harmonizing
Allowing
Energy in service
The diamond and its facets
Understanding that this was a deep and entangled story.
Divine timing was necessary
What I wanted was not as important as what needed to happen
Grace could be fierce.
Witnessing the pain body at a whole new level (check the story with key lime pie and build on that)
Portal Perspective -
Key to Success -
Key to Success -
At the core of most of my stories was the belief that I am not worthy of goodness. Its sneaky little voice would come in when I was distracted and hint that I once did something terrible and am destined to repeat my miserable mistakes over and over forever. This is a subtle voice, mind you. It would come in quietly and build so that I would not even realize what was happening until it was running my mind. It never came right out and said I did not deserve grace. It implied it until I would project my guilt out into future potentials of loss, grief, fear, anger, or shame. This little voice was a master gaslighter. It knew just how to make me feel separate and at risk.
The Native Americans call this possession by Wetiko1. Wetiko is defined as a cannabalistic spirit that has become a predatory monster. It overtakes the mind of humans who have a prpensity for excess, and they then unwittingly begin to consume the life force of others.
1 Levy, Paul “Dispelling Wetiko: Breaking the Curse of Evil” Quest Magazine 102.4 (Fall 2014) pp 146-151.
The Native Americans call this possession by Wetiko1. Wetiko is defined as a cannabalistic spirit that has become a predatory monster. It overtakes the mind of humans who have a prpensity for excess, and they then unwittingly begin to consume the life force of others.
1 Levy, Paul “Dispelling Wetiko: Breaking the Curse of Evil” Quest Magazine 102.4 (Fall 2014) pp 146-151.
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CHOOSING FREEDOM
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What It Takes To Be Sovereign - ancestral freedom, cutouts and rules
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Letting a great ancestral story go changes your life. It can be greatly challenging because the
very thing you value most about yourself is often the very thing that must be released. What part of your identity do you defend at all costs? Who do you think you must be to ensure your survival? Usually this boils down to our need for love. What we do to get it. What we exchange for it. How we compromise our authentic expression to be accepted, to be non-threatening, to stay alive or invisible.
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Van Keuren / THE PORTAL TO FREEDOM / 173
This is scary stuff to realize. It is even scarier to let the story go and choose to liberate yourself. The mind rises up in opposition. So do other people’s minds. So do the old parts of you from other lifetimes that relied on those old strategies. This last bit about the other lifetimes is usually a real surprise.
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You, the awakening human, are the portal through which every part of you will experience its
own reunion with your soul. This means you will experience every part of this unfoldment. You will sense what energies are stuck. You will feel all the old stories. You will call back all your old karmic friends. You will bring everything up, and experience it one last time, so the old painful patterns can all be transformed.
Van Keuren / THE PORTAL TO FREEDOM / 174
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Suddenly, you start to meet other parts of yourself, perhaps in dreams, perhaps in meditations,
perhaps simply as a traumatizing feelings that sabotages your clarity, perhaps in psychic encounters. This can feel rather schizophrenic, like there are a bunch of off-kilter moons orbiting your planet and messing with your gravity. At first, you are convinced their feelings are your own feelings. You would swear up and down this is so because you have been conditioned to believe this, and eons of semi-conscious living has reinforced the illusion. The gravity of this can be very overwhelming.
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But trust me, this is not you that you are feeling. You are your own aspect, your own lifetime,
your own identity within your soul’s cluster of lifetimes, and you get to choose what you take on as your own. Yes, you are connected to these other lifetimes, which are all still spinning on in their own dimension of reality within the eternal now, and your evolution is felt by them. Still, you are your own flavor of ice cream and you get to decide what sprinkles you are going to carry around on top of you. You don’t have to play the old game. You don’t have to carry the baggage of all your other lifetimes.
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Van Keuren / THE PORTAL TO FREEDOM / 175
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This is a pivotal piece of information. If you don’t realize you have a choice, the wet blanket will
stay over your head. You will remain hypnotized, a victim to their story. You will do what you have always done, which is suffer.
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Van Keuren / THE PORTAL TO FREEDOM / 176
When you fully embrace the notion that this old pain is not yours and you can free yourself from it with a single choice, your life will change quickly. Until then, you will spin down through continuous rinse and repeat cycles, held captive by the gravity of the past.
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How To Get Free
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We liberate ourselves by saying, “This is NOT mine. Maybe I thought it was for a really long
time, but I claim today that I am not this and I choose to let it go.” And you really mean it, regardless of what happens.
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By making this choice we recognize our counterparts, all those other lifetimes, and how they
feel. We honor them for their experience and all the wisdom they brought to the soul, and we welcome that wisdom into our life, this life, and claim it as our own. Then we are saying, in no uncertain terms that our lifetime is our own, and we are doing it differently.
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Initially, these other lifetimes will not be pleased. They are jealous. They want what you are
choosing but they are not ready to choose it for themselves. They do not believe you can do it. In fact, they will torment you for even trying, even though they secretly want you to succeed. They will torment you with their anger, hurt, and fear, because they do not trust you. They are testing you. Do you really mean business? We will haunted by our unintegrated shadows until we become clear and sovereign.
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Van Keuren / THE PORTAL TO FREEDOM / 177
It is at this point that we redirect them to the soul. It is the soul that will meet them where they are and sing to them. We step into the portal so fully that we are surrounded by our soul’s love and radiance and this shining light slides between who we are becoming and the old stories. It becomes our chrysalis, creating a point of separation that allows us to let go of the past, set it free to have its own healing, and embrace the mystery. The soul holds a different frequency, one of joy. If we focus on the joy, and claim it as our own, the old aspects will step back. They must.
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Clarity - CLARITY IS IN RE-IMAGINE, FOCUS HERE ON CHOICE
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Clarity is not only a choice, it is an action. We may tell ourselves we have made a clear choice but it is our actions that tell the tale. There is a definitive resonance when we step over the line and stand on the other side living a new truth. It is different than saying, “That sounds cool, I think I’d like that.” Instead we are proclaiming, “I Am This Now. Do whatever it takes to line things up.” Those two things feel very different in your body, and the soul knows the difference too.
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Energy aligns when you are clear. If you aren’t clear, you are just sending out mixed messages to the universe. Call it walking your talk, or standing in your radiance, or owning your magnificence. If you don’t believe grace is possible, and in fact know your choice is already a done deal and act as if it is so already, you will be waiting a loooooong time for any kind of real change.
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Van Keuren / THE PORTAL TO FREEDOM / 178
When you choose with clarity, you are choosing to feel the soul’s joy instead of your old aspect’s trauma. This takes 10,000 hours of practice. It is a moment-by-moment trial by fire, and it can seem very extremely chaotic at times.
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The soul’s joy and its great compassion is a magnet. When you are fully embodying this, your
aspects will eventually stop tormenting you and choose to come home to the love. When this happens the old traumatic stories are transmuted into great experiential wisdom.
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GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES
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Discerning, Sorting, And Releasing
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There is a primal fear that emerges when you realize that you are not what you thought you were.
Like Persephone, you end up sifting through all the grains of your experience (your beliefs, emotions, roles, entitlements, hopes, fears) discerning what is truly yours and what is not.
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It is rather shocking to discover that much, if not all, of what you carried on your shoulders was
never yours to begin with. It may have been something you experienced, but it was never what
Transmutation Through Presence
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Van Keuren / THE PORTAL TO FREEDOM / 179
you truly are. In the end, we can’t evolve and carry our baggage with us. It becomes a choice: to cling to what is familiar and suffer, or to let go and evolve into the mystery.
Every relationship conflict, every health issue, every emotional or mental trauma is an opportunity to be aware. Watching with compassion is enough to free you, but you might continue to go unconscious and slip into the old patterns for a while. Stay with it. I think of this as driving your autonomy-mobile.
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At first you may only recognize a pain body flair-up when you see it in the rear view mirror. Hindsight is 20/20. Later, you can name the pain when you are trigged but you may not be able to change directions or avoid the inevitable. Eventually you will be conscious enough to transmute the pattern completely and create a whole new outcome. Energy that was trapped in the pain becomes free to serve you in new ways.
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Freeing yourself from old patterns is a process. It requires a commitment to live your life as consciously as possible and retrain your responses. Your days become a compassionate practice of receiving, and you realize how everything you experience helps you become more aware.
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I’ve come to recognize the way an issue bubbles up and releases. There is a method to the madness, and I will share mine with you in hopes it helps you recognize yours.
Van Keuren / THE PORTAL TO FREEDOM / 180
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- Emotions - First, I notice a sense of anxiety. Fear might be up for no apparent reason, but my mind will look for a way to pattern it. I often have dreams at night that bring emotional flashbacks. I may feel angry or sad. Sometimes I attract a life situation that really gets my attention.
# - Physical Body - After the emotional trigger, my body reacts by tightening up. I might feel shaky or dizzy or break out into a rash. And then, inevitably, comes the pain. It will flair up particularly in old pain points tied to cellular memory. At this point, as Eckhart Tolle would say, my pain-body is royally triggered.
# - Mind - If I am unconscious, my mind will start running the old story, which takes me back into the emotions and the whole thing loops and intensifies. If I can stay conscious, I will get an epiphany that shows me a choice. This may take a few days of alert witnessing, but invariable wisdom will guide me to a new way forward. At that point, I must choose to allow a change.
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When you experience the gravity of old pain, try not to let it suck you under into an unconscious feeding-frenzy. Get as alert as you can as fast as you can and watch what is happening with an eagle eye. Don’t rehash the past or fly into fear about the future because this is where the sharks are and they are hungry. Stay present. Consciousness is your life raft. Stay in it.
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MORE HERE
Van Keuren / THE PORTAL TO FREEDOM / 181
Women have a certain advantage over men here, because their menstrual cycle offers a monthly window for transmutation. Menstruation creates a low tide where one can see what is otherwise hidden on the emotional ocean floor. Bringing awareness into what is revealed during this time of release can expand your consciousness greatly.
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Allowing Endings
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The step of release is all about endings. This includes roles, relationships, ancestral conditioning,
pain/pleasure cycles, and even cellular death and DNA restructuring. #
We will likely go through all the stages of denial, anger, fear, and grudging acceptance as we surrender our will to the will of our soul, and we will likely experience great fear as we are launched into the unknown. This is the great journey that takes us beyond our hopes, for hope is based only on what we know, into trust that our own mysterious wings will form and carry us exactly where we need to go.