The Season of Miracles
After three months of travel, it is wonderful to be home, but I confess, everything feels different to me. I think this is because I am different, and still awakening to what is unfolding.
Since our return home, Joe and I have been in a perpetual daze, stumbling about with aches and pains and fuzzy brains. Yes, we worked hard in Hawai’i and earned a few sore muscles, but the stiffness that endures hints at cellular changes. We feel over-stimulated, disoriented, and very disconnected from the holiday hubbub.
After bravely enduring a four-hour supply run into Denver, we hunkered into our little retreat for some deeply needed peace and quiet. Our home seems hidden away and somehow invisible amidst all the blinking and swirling laser lights that surround us. I guess laser is the new holiday trend? We are contrarians. The stillness of the season blankets our home this holiday. We created an island of refuge for some deep integration. Hawai’i was big for us.
I shared some of my experiences with you last month, but there were other deeply personal ones I have yet to speak of, and I’ve been wondering how to put them into words, or if I should speak of them at all. Many people from all walks of life read this blog. Would they relate, or consider what I say to be too bizarre? Is it of service to others to share? Would it be of service to me?
I felt into my knowing, and it became clear. This is the season of miracles. I will share the gift I received, which is a real potential for others as well, and let the readers decide if they wish to open to these possibilities, knowing whatever they decide is right for them. Let me set the stage with a story...one told in a recent Disney movie.
The Tale of Moana
The story is told that the demigod Maui, in a misguided effort to gift humanity, stole and lost the heart of the Goddess, Te Fiti. The heart holds the power to create life, and as a result of Maui’s actions, the Polynesian islands began to fade and die.
A daughter is eventually born to a Polynesian chieftain, one who will become the next leader of her people. She is named Moana, after the sea. When Moana is a young girl, her namesake calls to her, and delivers to her the heart of Te Fiti, for the ocean has chosen her to find Maui and with him return the heart to the mother island and renew Polynesia.
The journey Moana and Maui undertake is filled with peril, for to succeed they must face the Fire Demon, Te Ka, and their own great doubts.
In the climax of the story, Moana arrives at the mother island and....(skip ahead past the video until after the quote below if you have not yet seen the movie and don’t want to spoil the fun)
By witnessing Te Fiti's true essence, hidden behind the rage and grief of Te Ka, Moana restores the Goddess's heart. Then as Polynesia comes back to life, Moana journeys home. She now knows who she is, and returns to her island commanding the skills of a great wayfinder. As such, she guides her people into their own remembrance of their true identity as a great voyaging people.
I know your name.
They have stolen the heart from inside you,
But this does not define you.
This is not who you are.
You know who you are…
I saw this movie shortly before journeying to Hawai’i. I watched it two more times while on the island and another time upon returning home. It spoke to me, preparing me for my own epiphany.
And what was revealed? To answer, let me tell you another story, for stories are a beautiful way to share truths. They open the door to the heart through imagination.
The Great Experiment
There once lived a precious soul who was a grand creator being. She was an expansive artist, creating with abandon. Energy was drawn to her, and it flowed from her as color and music and light. She was a creator in her own right, and so she could bring things to life. She helped to prepare Lemuria for human habitation, in the very place where the Hawaiian islands now stand.
This lovely soul wanted to experience life on the planet she had so joyfully helped design. From her passion flowed forth many expressions, aspects of herself, that dove deep into physical experience, but these aspects went so deep into form that they forgot who they were. They did not remember that the spark of the artist was inside them.
There were many other aspects, expressions of other grand beings, and they experienced a similar forgetting. Eventually, all of these various expressions began to play together in the density.
Because they did not know who they were, they lacked wisdom. They created unconsciously, and their creations became distorted, filled with density and focus and chaos. These were grand experiences to be sure, but they were very limited and dualistic, and created the illusion of need. As a result, the aspects began stealing energy from each other, which put in motion a karmic cycle that spiraled down into the deepest darkest depths and repeated lifetime after lifetime.
One day, our lovely creator being brought forth yet another expression of herself, one who was designed to remember her true identity as a great creator being...if she so chose. This aspect was born into a very loving American family after the Second World War, at a time when humanity was about to begin its great evolution.
Even as a young child she could sense the rage and the grief of her soul’s many other aspects, and by the age of eight, she began having a recurring nightmare of a fire demon trapped in the chimney of her childhood home. The chimney represented the energy trapped in a old karmic cycle. In her dreams, the chimney would break open, freeing the beast within. This terrified her. She had the same dream for over 40 years.
As she matured, her intuition opened and began to guide her, and then one day she was ready to face the fire and call it by its name. She found the courage to witness her shadow, release it, and restore her own creative heart.
As she did this, the life she knew, which had been built on the old karmic foundation, began to fall away. She lost loved ones. She learned of endings. She allowed death, and so transcended it, and finally entered the void that holds the seeds for all new beginnings.
Then one day, the woman is called to Hawai’i. She is asked to help prepare a special place on the Big Island where people will begin to remember how to create without power or force. She knows that to prepare this space for others she will need to remember who she really is, a true creator being. By embodying that truth and living it, she will leave a potential for others to feel and to find. She knows this is an epic opportunity and responsibility, and to be honest, she trembles a bit in the knowing.
The woman arrives at Villa Ahmyo on the Big Island of Hawai'i, and during her first several weeks has many dreams and restless nights. She feels things moving through the land and all around her that seem to know her, and once she even wakes up her partner and asks him to walk through the house with her to make sure nothing is lurking in the corners.
Then, one night she is jolted awake and senses a presence standing in her bedroom doorway. This entity is an ancient Hawaiian. He asks her to go on a pilgrimage to Waipi’o Valley, where she will receive a message from the Elders.
At her first opportunity, the woman and her partner drive to the valley and sit at an overlook where the canyon meets the sea. She feels the Elders waiting for her. They tell her they remember her, though she doesn’t yet remember herself. They call her a fallen star, an eternal being, who has come to the islands to remember her true essence, and help create a place where others will have their own remembrances.
They tell her she cannot look to the past for direction. The path forward will emerge from within. She will have to discover it herself and create a new life from the void within her. In this way she will remember her magic. This is her legacy and the reason for her birth.
They call her Kea. She doesn’t know what that name means.
The woman sits with these words, feeling into them, and one morning awakes at 3 am with the name they called her singing inside her; a Lemurian name she realizes, and she begins to explore its meaning. She discovers that in Hawaiian, Kea means "bright and colorless, reflecting equal quantities of all frequencies of visible light." That is a name for one who holds the wisdom of all her soul's experiences!
She recognizes the word, Kea, in the name of the great mountain of Hawai’i, Mauna Kea, the “White Mountain,” which is the largest mountain on Earth, rising 33,000 feet from the sea bed. It is sacred to Hawaiians, and often called Mauna a Wakea, the link between Papa, the earth mother, and the sky father, Wakea, the God of Light, the great expanse.
She is later reminded that her name is part of the term "Kea-hak," which Adamus Saint-Germain uses to describe the creative dance of energy in motion in service to the radiance of Spirit. It describes the principle of new energy creation.
Kea. It is no small name.
The woman ponders what it would be like to be such a creator once again. As she says her name out loud, she feels the tingle of a truth being remembered. Something insider her opens and energy starts flowing through her in a new way. Her crazy human self remains, but now, there is also something else…something expansive underneath the human facade, and it is vibrating within her
She starts knowing things in a strange circular way. Her thoughts stop being linear. Some days her mind has trouble working and it is difficult to find words for what she wants to express.
Her physical body still appears chaotic, but when she senses into her cells, they seem transparent and luminous. The body she sees in the mirror, with all its quirks and issues, feels like an illusion. With humor, she realizes she has been holding on to her old form like a child clutches a beloved, but frayed and worn, "blankie.” She laughs, knowing she will eventually release her focus and allow the new sovereign body to emerge.
All of these awarenesses drop in as she renews and prepares the Villa, which in itself is quite the metaphor. The daily tasks keep her mind distracted so it doesn’t interfere. The physical labor eases the new flow of energy through her body. In this flow, old limiting stories rise up so she can let them go. She sees how she protects herself out of habit and how this is no longer unnecessary. She revises her relationship with her partner and with her own body. If she feels overwhelmed, she chooses more ease and grace, and immediately the energies begin to realign. Help and support start showing up in the most amazing ways.
Then, with surprise, she notices that each time she releases a limiting pattern, the Villa expands as well! Places that once felt dense and congested start to open up. Smells fade away. There is a freshening. Things begin to sparkle. The outer creation is mirroring her inner transformation. Yes, something amazing is being born.
When her time at the Villa is complete, the woman and her partner leave with joy, knowing they completed their part. Others will now offer their service. She sets her creation free.
She still feels a deep connection to Hawai’i. There is a place now, above the mountain that shares her name, that she can visit at will. She can send her consciousness there whenever she yearns to feel the pure salt air or the waves of creation she helped put in motion.
This story is my story. A bit fantastic? Yes, it is. You may think of it as a story if you wish. Or you can feel into it, sense the truth underneath my words, and let that truth shine a light on your own potentials, for you also are a great creator being.
If you are wondering how this has filtered into my life since returning home, well, that has been most interesting. I will share more in a future blog, for things are still unfolding; but I will leave you with this experience…a bit of a teaser…that showed me what is possible in this brave new world.
Upon returning home, Joe and I took a few days to rejuvenate at one of our favorite hot springs in Colorado, one that offers cute cabins and three beautiful soaking pools in an idyllic setting.
One of the most blissful things to do at these springs is to sit in the water in the dark of a winter night, breathing in the stillness as the stars twinkle above you in the crisp cold air. The water is alive, and the experience is incredibly beautiful.
We went to the pools late in the evening to do just this, but it seemed many others had the same idea. The pools were filled with people, but they were all chatting away.
I took a deep breath and accepted what was. I was yearning for quiet, and decided to find that still place inside me underneath the noise. The space opened for me instantly and I sat in an oasis of peace. I could sense Joe slipping into a meditative space beside me. Then, one by one, I noticed people started leaving the pool. Within moments, only one other couple remained and they were silent. I laughed inside! Joe looked at me and winked.
Later, we decided to move to a warmer pool, only to discover that this was now the party pad, but as soon as we entered, people immediately began leaving. Within moments, Joe and I were alone in the pool!
To be clear, I never asked for the others to be quiet…not with my voice, not even with my thoughts. I accepted what was around me and created my own inner reality. Then, like magic, as I sat in my own spaciousness, the external aligned to match my internal reality. It was freakin’ amazing!
So I sit here now in my beautiful home during this Christmas season, in awe, knowing I am finally creating safe space within me and without. As I stare at this gorgeous buck outside the window, I wonder what magical manifestation will come to me next. Many interesting things are happening.
For now, let me wish you a Very Happy New Year, one that I am sure will have many surprises in store for us, for the winds of change are blowing.